Raise your hands if you’ve been surrounded by people you weren’t sure really cared about you? Yeah, I’ve been there too. Raise your hands if because you didn’t know how to deal with the situation, you just let them stick around? Yeah, I’ve also been there.
It’s not always easy to separate the real from the fake people in your life sometimes and if you’ve ever been a passive aggressive person, sometimes you don’t want to deal with the situation at all. You rather just let people come and go as they please, instead of just telling them to stay away period.
At least that was the way it was for me, for a really long time. I hated confrontation and back in the day, I didn’t use my voice often enough. I mean if we ended up in a blowout, I could handle that fighting was nothing to me, but actually telling someone, “hey let’s just go our separate ways,” was next to impossible for me.
I had a lot of people stay in my circle for all the wrong reasons. Even though I didn’t always pick up on it from the very beginning, when I did I still didn’t do anything about it. Instead of separating myself from people, I let them do the work themselves. When they were ready to leave I was okay with it, but if they stuck around, then I was fine with that too.
I feel like the reason I was so hesitant to walk away from people was because I felt like some love was better than no love at all. Back then I didn’t understand that a few good friends were better than being surrounded by a whole bunch of spectators. I guess for me it was because they didn’t really treat me badly, they just weren’t consistent.
It took me a long time to understand that people who come in and out of your life are only there to keep up appearances. They just want a front row seat into your life to see if you make it or crash trying. They really don’t offer any substance to your life, they just do the bare minimum so you think they care, but really they don’t.
They will support you when you are up, so everybody knows that they know you, but when you are down, they are nowhere to be found. After being stuck in that position one too many times, my eyes were finally opened (sometimes I learn way too slow).
When you reach a low point and there is next to no one in your corner, but your phone is full of numbers, that doesn’t make you feel good as a person. There were all these people not too long ago trying to claim every benefit there was by being associated with you, but now that the benefits are temporarily on hold, so is the love and support they offer.
Well, forget that I started cleaning up house and I’m a better person for it today. If you’re currently in this situation, I advise you to do the same. Don’t let people use you! Don’t allow them to invest the bare minimum into you, while you invest all of yourself into them.
If you see people only stick around for the benefits, but can’t hold you down ever when you’re in a struggle, let them go. It doesn’t even have to be an argument or require any theatrics. Hold a simple conversation, be respectful and let them know how you feel. They may not agree with you, but stay firm in your decision.
The time to show and prove already passed, they just want to try to con you into letting them stay connected to those benefits! You’ve got to learn to stand up for yourself. Being passive and letting people take you for granted is not a good look believe me.
You will leave yourself feeling empty and foolish. It is best that you invest your time into creating real genuine connections with people who love and support you with the same love and support you would give to them.
It took me a really long time to get to a place where I had real honest genuine friends and the feeling is unlike anything I had back then with all those acquaintances. I’ve got a handful of people in my inner circle and that’s all I really need. Yes, I do have a few acquaintances still, but I don’t mistake them for friends anymore and let them all the way in.
Everyone has their space and their limits with me. Acquaintances don’t get the time and energy my inner circle gets because they aren’t as invested. I no longer accept that bare minimum, fake love people dish out and I’ve learned to really pay attention to people and their intentions when they come around.
You’ve got to love yourself enough and value what you have to offer others enough to know that not everyone deserves to be close to you. You deserve more than the bare minimum and you deserve not to be abandoned by people who hold a position in your life when you need them the most.
Say no to all that fake love you are receiving and say yes to real genuine love and support. Cut off all those people who are hanging around that are pretty much only pulling you down. Find people who are willing to build with you and invest in you. That is really the only way you are going to make it to the next level.
Yes, it is always best to be self-reliant, but on your journey to the top, there are going to be pitfalls and you won’t always have the strength to hold yourself up. That is where having real genuine love and support comes in handy.
Stop selling yourself short. You deserve the best this world has to offer. Life is too short to spend it pleasing people who only want to use you. Take the pledge and start cleaning up your inner circle. Say it with me, no more fake love! I’m proud of you, now go free yourself from your baggage.