Karrueche: Why Her Media Portrayal Offends Me

Karrueche is such an inspiring person to me. She is one of the very few women in Hollywood that I look up to. As a woman who has found myself on the receiving end of a similar situation with my son’s father, I sympathized with her when she had to come to terms with the fact that the man she loved and continually defended betrayed her again. I also sympathized with her when she decided she needed to leave and stay gone this time, knowing all too well the pain that comes with investing real time and energy into someone, only to have all your dreams and hope shattered.

Now let me keep it 100. When I was in my situation, I didn’t handle it as nice as she did. I wanted blood and retribution and it took a long time for me to curb my anger to even begin to have a civil relationship with my son’s father. I was well within my rights to be difficult, I trusted him, stayed faithful and he betrayed me more than once. I wasted 7 years (on and off) of my life and I wanted him to be every bit as miserable as he made me.

However, Karrueche made all of us vengeful scorned women look bad; she just moved on with her life. Yeah, she's lashed out a few times but besides that home girl has barely batted an eyelash! Watching Karrueche handle her very public humiliation with such grace and building herself slowly and humbly, has taught me a lot about dealing with misfortune and not wasting new opportunities but running with them. She sets an amazing example of evolving through your pain instead of focusing on it and letting it cripple you.

What gets me heated is the amount of hate that this girl receives every day, even a year after her split with Chris. No matter what Karrueche is doing, there are thousands of cruel comments on her Instagram page and on the pages of any blog that chooses to post anything about her. The worst part, is pretty much all the hateful comments are coming from women and my biggest question is why?

Every day thousands of women deal with similar situations, only on a much smaller level. Most of us aren’t shoved into the public eye or dating a high profile celeb, but that doesn’t make her pain any less relatable. A lot of women have to go through the same process of coming to terms with the fact that we’ve been lied to and betrayed, accepting the embarrassment, working through it and moving on with our lives. The only major difference is we get to do it on a private scale between family, friends and a few outsiders; Karrueche had to do it in front of the whole world.

Most of us have had to grow past our situations and learn to evolve into the new person we were meant to become after all the misery.  Let’s be real, thousands of women have invested years of their lives into one man and when it was over, there were new doors opened for them because of the friendships they built and maintained even after the relationship faded and many of those women have used them. Again though these are women who aren’t in the public eye. Every day these women are being congratulated on their progress, while Karrueche gets slaughtered for doing the same thing.

We can accept the progression of women who don’t date famous guys, but because she dated Chris Brown somehow it’s different? I beg to differ. Karrueche didn’t just hop in the picture and become famous. She didn’t use Chris for anything because if you can all remember the clothing line that they started together failed. If she wanted him for his influence, then when that whole line fell apart, so would their relationship.

 How many times have we seen women date celebrities to get ahead and when she feels like he's maxed his contributions or things fell apart, she moves on to the next to stay relevant? Karrueche hasn’t attached herself to that bandwagon; she has proven that she is more than capable of building herself by herself, without attaching herself to a man. That’s more than I can say for half the celebrity women other women idolize.

 Karrueche dates one famous man and gets slaughtered, while half of your favourites had to be linked to several different men for ya’ll to buy their music, care about their modelling and club hosting or to endorse their tv shows, yet they don’t get half the hate. Instead, women love them, even though a lot of them have pretty much slept with a lot of different people to come up. Why the double standard?

She has evolved and grown so much since her relationship ended, but women are degrading her because she didn’t stay stagnant. Why should she? Karrueche decided that she wanted to be more than the “ex Chris Brown did dirty” she actually wanted to leave her mark. What is so wrong about that? After being in a long term relationship, she made new friends and acquaintances and new doors and opportunities were presented to her that she decided to capitalize on. How are women mad because she decided to run with these opportunities?

She could have just stayed modelling or hosting parties and become another pretty face that hangs with celebrities, but has nothing to offer and really didn’t do anything special with her life to separate herself from the rest. Instead, she decided to expand her horizon and chase a few of her dreams. In my eyes that is admirable Karrueche was given a new platform and she decided to make the most of it.

The fact the women spend their time trying to tear her down, instead of taking notes on how to elevate themselves like Karrueche did is so discouraging to me. It probably means that a lot of these women haven’t evolved past their situations and they have no idea what it means to grow. There is nothing wrong with evaluating yourself and Karrueche isn’t malicious or ungrateful because she’s decided not to take Chris back.

Karrueche has maintained her stance on not going back, regardless of the attempts Chris has made to get her back. I personally don’t fault her for that, every woman has their limits and she has clearly reached hers. None of us were ever dating Chris Brown we don’t know anything about him other than the image he portrays. We don’t know all the inner workings of their relationship and we can’t be angry with a woman who doesn’t want to go back to being disrespected.

We as women need to do better. There needs to be more unity and sympathy and we should really be trying to learn from each other instead of trying to tear each other apart. There are a lot of valuable lessons that can be gained from actually watching and taking notes in the progression of another woman. The fact that so many can’t see the beauty in this situation shows me that there are way too many bitter women who let themselves be robbed by life and situations.

Why is it as women we can revel in another woman’s pain, but can’t be genuinely happy for another woman? We need to stop being haters, that’s what’s holding a lot of us back! We need to learn as women if we are given a platform we need to us it to better ourselves.  We need to learn to celebrate other women when they get themselves out of their mess.

We also need to understand that just because she is now in the public eye, doesn’t separate her pain from that of any other woman and it doesn’t give other women the right to treat her any differently than they would any other women in their life. If it was your mom, sister, cousin, or best friend, that went through the same mess and came out on top, would you bash her?  I highly doubt it. I don’t understand the division that women create between women in the spotlight and the rest of us. We are all still women! Just because you get to deal with your mess on a private scale and you can hide your flaws and baggage, all of a sudden makes you better than a woman who can’t?

The hypocrisy is overwhelming for me. A lot of use can hide behind a computer screen and spew our ignorance, but know all too well that if a magnifying glass was placed on our lives we wouldn’t be able to handle it! A lot of us have bigger messes but instead of being focused on getting ourselves right, we are obsessed with the life of someone else.

In my opinion, that is pathetic! We need to focus more of the time we place into being petty into learning how to get our lives to a level that can mirror the lives of the people we spend so much time hating on. While we are investing hours into writing and spreading hate, they are travelling the world, living their dreams and making more money than we see in a year. What are we gaining from our ignorance? Absolutely nothing.

Obviously, Karrueche isn’t the only woman to be treated this way, but I chose her because she was just a normal girl who happened to fall in love with a guy who wasn’t so normal and because of it, became the bane of existence for thousands of women; which is beyond sad to me. If women paid more attention to positivity than being jealous and petty, they would learn valuable lessons from her situation.

Some of the ones I’ve come to admire are her ability to thrive above opinions, to stay humble, to turn a negative situation into something positive and allowing her pain and sequentially her healing process, to propel her into a greater future.  Karrueche’s resilience is astounding I can’t imagine what it takes to not fall apart when thousands of women you don’t even know, hate you for no good reason.

I honestly believe that it takes some truly special people to be thrown into the spotlight and not go absolutely mad. I respect anyone who can handle the pressure with grace and just keep going as if they aren’t swamped with negativity every day. Karrueche has shown that she is more than capable of handling her own. She is definitely a budding role model.

Truthfully, you don’t have to like her or any other celebrity or acquaintance of a celebrity. There are a lot of people who are famous that I don’t like and that I can’t relate to. However, just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean that I’m going to spend my time hating on them and even though they aren’t my favourite people, I am still capable of giving credit where credit is due.  

You don’t have to like someone to learn from them or to be capable of respecting their hustle or their drive. Those things can’t be built or bought. Women we need to get it together so we can all evolve to the next level. If you’ve never been on, then you have no right to hate on someone who has managed to get themselves to the next level. What you need to do is stop spreading hate and start taking notes so you can put yourself on too!