If you’ve ever been hurt before or you have a dysfunctional past, then you have learned the art of shutting down. You’ve learned to keep people at a level and only tell people what you feel they need to know. You’ve also learned how to hide the ugliest pieces of yourself way down deep and put on your best face so people think you’ve got it all together. The only people that know different are you and the people in your past and you’ve been meticulous at separating the new you from the old you and the people involved.
It seems you’ve covered all your bases and you can move past your past without ever having to acknowledge it or the people in it. Unfortunately, you have fooled yourself. You will soon realize that on your journey to greatness, the ugly things can’t stay hidden. It’s either you keep it all the way real with the people who support you, or the people in your past who don’t like that you are making positive changes, will try to tear you down by exposing your secrets.
How many times have we seen our favourite celebs making big moves and in the middle of use hyping and celebrating, someone hits up a blog site to drop a bomb? All of a sudden instead of focusing on all the positive things coming, everyone is trying to get to the bottom of the scandal. I can’t help but think if people were a lot more open about who they were and where they came from and the mishaps in their life, that things like this wouldn’t happen so often or at least wouldn’t have such an impact or cause so much chaos.
I have learned that there is immense power in transparency simply because people can’t throw your past in your face if you’ve always been honest and open about your mistakes and short-comings. Now I’m not telling you to go around telling every single person about all the details of your business. What I’m saying is, when certain topics are addressed in front of you, be honest. You don’t have to give all the details but keep it real enough that you’ve covered your bases. You’ve been there, learnt from it, moving on, period.
Be unapologetic about your life experiences and never use them in a way to belittle anyone or to gain pity from anyone. Instead, use your transparency as a way to help other people get through similar things as you. You never really know who’s watching you and you never really know how many lives you can change with your honesty. Don’t let your past be used as a weapon by hiding it and building shame around it. Rather use it as a tool to propel you into a brighter future and to influence positive change in the people around you.
Instead of trying to live behind a picture perfect façade, throw yourself under the bus. Let people know that you aren’t perfect and your accomplishments are nothing short of hard work, determination, blood, sweat, tears, and change. Hold your head high and claim everything about you. Everyone is going to have an opinion and not all of them are going to be nice, but grow a backbone.
To whom much is given, much is required. Simply put, you went through everything you did for a reason. There is a purpose in everything it is up to you to find it and put it to good use. You will never get to where you need to go and overcome the negativity or the pain that surrounds you, by hiding behind your past and running from others opinions.
Your life is your own and your story is your own, you’ve got to see the beauty in the misery and move past the criticism. Never be afraid of opinions because truth is those who speak the loudest have their own dirty secrets and trying to sink you, makes them feel better in their misery. Don’t give anyone that kind of control over you. Be transparent, be real, express your struggles and your lessons and watch yourself grow past any place you ever thought you would be.
Like I said there is power in transparency and at the very least people will have to respect you for the fact that you don’t give people a chance to hold anything over you. At its greatest potential, transparency can open up doors you never dreamed of before. Look at some of your favourite motivational speakers or some of the most iconic celebrities.
They didn’t get to where they were solely based on the work they did or the people they knew, but rather because they weren’t afraid to tell their stories. People loved them because they built a foundation on being a survivor and an overcomer instead of living like a victim. Through their transparency, they not only touched many lives but healed a lot of broken pieces in themselves as well. Not to mention they became someone they were told they could never be. That could be you too, trust me that was no luck or a fluke.
Be transparent, be real… let life take you on a beautiful journey.